If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.

my (foster) father has passed away 3 weeks ago at the age of 64.

in a split second my life has changed; and it feels a bit unfair. my own father didn’t want me, and now i couldn’t have the man who fulfilled that role for me.

a lot of things happened since that day, but the past couple days i’ve been thinking about life, and reflecting on the time we had together. he is the reason i am where i am today.

when he took me in when i was 12 i was a very traumatised child. i was abused at home by my own parents, but he spent the next decade helping me overcome all obstacles in life. and his hard work paid off. he helped me get a degree, with his help i jump started my career and overall i am very pleased with where i am. but none of this would’ve been possible without him.

when everything goes well in life, you start to think you’re unbeatable, but it doesn’t imply that life will be good tomorrow when you’re enjoying today.

death is the only object in life that drives value. and this is applicable to anything in life. anything you purchase in life either boils down to needing it or making your life easier (e.g saving you time, taking away a pain point etc etc). the latter usually derives from the fact that you don’t want to spend time dealing with it.

death is also the only thing that we know will happen, everything before that is either relative, subjective or both.

so try to spend your time wisely, put yourself and family first.

i absolutely love my job and the people i work with, i hope i’ll be privileged enough to work there for a very long time, but when i will leave my desk at work will be filled by someone else, my role at the company will be filled by someone else - but no one will be able to fill the role my father had, no one will be able to talk to me the way he did. and now i’ll have to try to fill that role for myself, and that is very difficult to come to terms with.

it’s oke to make mistakes in life, this is a fact i am just now accepting. i always try to do my best, but i did everything to make my dad proud, now i have to start making myself proud.

But still once we see each-other again, i hope i can say i’ve made you proud

Thank you for reading.

Ciao for now,

Giovanni